Howdy. Hey, how's it going everybody?
(Barney): Go right on through sir, looks like you're in the barrel today. (Barney): Go right on through sir, looks like you're in the barrel today. Huh? Huh? What's, what's wrong sir? My passport? Why do we need a- why do, what do you mean a passport? You mean like a company ID? (Laughing) I don't, I don't have a passport! I have my, I have my Black Mesa I.D. He's clenching, I, dude- Ok? Listen I'm not, (Laughing) I'm not any danger to him, alright? I'm in the, I'm in the HEV suit- I'm in the fucking company suit, I'm in my uniform. (The guard sings a note) (Wayne laughs) What was that? What the fuck was- What was that? You blow balls in his mouth with your sw- ok.
Uh, so I gotta go to the test chamber. Am I being held up here? Like am I not allowed to go do my job? I don't have- Look at my chest! Look at me. I'm suited, like literally every scientist in the fucking building is rushing me into the room. I, I'm going to go. Are, So you're coming with- you're coming with me? That- We'll, we'll find it ok? There'll be a passport somewhere around here. I'm sure we can find something to make you happy, and make him happy. Kinda scared of him. (The guard sings the same note) (Wayne chuckles) I gotta go put on my HEV suit, even though I'm already in it.
Hello. Tommy? Ok. Where, what department are you in? Where are you supposed to be right now? You headed to the break room? Th- The billboards in the break room? Are they putting ads- The billboards? I can't read it either dude. Listen, I'm gonna, I'll- you gonna stay here? Okay. We'll see, I'll catch you later Tommy Apparently he drinks soda for lunch. Okay what a, what a freak. What the fuck was that? What the hell was that? Hey, Mr. Coomer. How are you doing today? Another day another dollar, that's what we always say here at Black Mesa. I- alright. I'll be- I gotta head to the test chamber I got a big day today, right? You know, you know, crystals? Chamber? Yeah.
Yeah, all that, all that. So you know where we're going? You know you should probably suited up for this. Like, this is gonna be like radiation and shit. Are you good? All right, so down the elevator. The uh, I think we're heading like three levels down, so… I was um, how long have you worked here- Where do we need to go? If not down the elevator? I- I've never, I've worked here for many years! I have never had to bring my passport to work.
I've never had a guard ask me for my passport. I'm a little bit suspicious of you! I don't know why I'm shaking! I don't know why I'm shaking I think you're pushing me in the- (Laughing) I'm not nervous! I'm perfectly ok! I am perfectly healthy, and smart. I need you to move out of the way, so that we can go to the test chamber! Listen. I'm gonna press the button. You can, Ok! I, I've accepted that! I've come to terms with that! I've come to terms of the fact that you've just, you're gonna babysit me today. I have, uh, ghsdhgfd… I have as much ID as I'm ever going to have! Listen, man, I'm not good at squeezing past people. I'm a big guy. I can't get past you when you stand right there.
(Wayne Laughs) (Laughing) Who's afraid of me? Who is afraid of me? Is that why the scientists wouldn't talk to me? Okay well listen! Listen! We will figure this all out! We are running- What? What did you say? You ever, you ever ride in- I don't think that's… I mean, that is true. I don't think that's very safe, for our bodies. I think you should probably save your legs the trouble and just wait five seconds? Are you trying to get me killed- damn.
Damn, you wait for nobody, huh? (Wayne laughs) You were saying people- they don't seem scared of me. They're not even looking at me, they're ignoring me. Why, why would they be- what reason would they have to be afraid? I… augh! (Wayne panting) Gordon sprint! Let me in, let me in we're running late. Thank you. See? These guys aren't asking for my ID. You have some fucked up vendetta against me and my fuckin' passport! They were no problem! Why don't they, c- (stuttering) You don't think they care about their job, you're just gonna say that in front of them?! Fruit Loops?! Fruit Loops…
They didn't have breakfast? Everybody gotta buy breakfast, they had their fucking breakfast what the fuck are you talking about? Jesus Christ, can you show him outta here? You're not wearing the fucking radiation gear! You're gonna die! He does have- Gh- (Wayne laughs) I don't have my passport! Do you- do you have your fucking passport?! What does that even mean?! What- (Scientist: Quick! It's about to go critical!) What the fuck is going on?
(Scientist: Quick! It's about to go critical!) What the fuck is going on?! Your- the computers are blowing up, are we really fit to do the tech? Huh? Do you- What? Huh? How did you get in there?! I don't- (Confused noises) (Wayne exhales) Yeah, that's what I should be saying, huh? Yeah you, okay yeah you stay over there! (Wayne chuckles) Can we open this up? Thank you.
Okay, you can't go any farther. This is the fucking test chamber. This is where, you go, you die if you go in here. I don't, you get it? You get it? I… you know what man, I guess you're right. There's no g- There's no g-
(The guard sings a note) (The guard sings a note) What did you just do to me? Did you know about that guy?!? The fucking security guard just wanted to walk in here and get irradiated and fucking drop dead! (Scientist: Gordon, we have complete confidence in you.) I love this guy.
(Scientist: Gordon, we have complete confidence in you.) Yes! Yes! That's what I'm fucking- Okay, apparently nobody here knows how to socialize and you know, be a friendly co-worker and just- HOW THE FU- Oh my god, now Tommy's up there, uhhhhh, dude You know him? You know Tommy? (Laughing) What? (The guard sings a high note in a beautiful tone.) Listen dude, dude, you can live.
You can survive. You're gonna be fine. You just have to go back in the airlock with the other guys. I don't know how the fuck you even managed to get in here! That's not supposed to be open! Oh my god… (Scientist: Gordon, are you not hearing me? Climb up and start the rotors please.) I am hearing you loud and clear!
(Scientist: Gordon, are you not hearing me? Climb up and start the rotors please.) We're gonna have a fucking death at the workplace today, Jesus Christ! How is- what do you mean acceptable losses?! We don't need two people in here! What is he doing?! Where is he going? He's listening to me.
He's gonna jump in. You're actually gonna jump in. I'm gonna, I'm gonna turn on the fucking rotator… spinning… device. Wait for- no, he's coming up. Jesus, he's so fast! What are- okay, I'm, I turned it on! I started the fucking gear! We're going! We're going! Okay, there's supposed to be, the smoke's normal, right? No, we're not smoking! Could you, can you guys talk on the mic like that guy? Like use the intercom. You have that for a reason! I can't hear you! What could I steal?! What? Is that you? Yes, I do. The, we gotta push the- we gotta push the test sample into the laser, right? Okay.
Yeah, carefully. (Wayne laughs) This is my job dude! This is what I'm here paid to do, you're here to guard the door or something! You're here- you're supposed to be, you're looking for passports. You're worried about- we're- I'm gonna put it in there! Because that is the next step! (Scientist: Gordon we cannot predict how long the machinery can operate at this level-) I'm- I'm sp-
(Scientist: Gordon we cannot predict how long the machinery can operate at this level-) (Scientist: Gordon we cannot predict how long the machinery can operate at this level-) We're, we're, we are so far behind schedule my mind is about to fucking- (Wayne makes explosion sounds with his mouth) Fuck! Alright! I'm not- listen there's two people in the test chamber! Not supposed to be that way! Not what they taught me at MIT! I'm just, I'm doing it! Nothing will go wrong! Yeah!
(Scientist: Oh dear!) Nothing will- yeah, ok! What the fu- you were the- What is this?! Why are you coming?! Don't come in, no stay out! GO BACK IN, GET BACK IN THE- JESUS, NUH- MAN! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! WHAT THE- (Wayne yells in horror) What? What was that? Okay, so there were three people, I have to- uh, man my head! Holy shit! You think I fucked it up? You think *I* fucked it up? Did you, you- Fuckin' everyone in this room is dead.
What's going on upstairs do you think? Yeah, what were you gonna stop? (Wayne sighs) This was out of our hands. So listen, listen, listen, a fuckin'- I'm, I'm a little stressed buddy. Okay, so a guard! A guard, there was a guard insisting that I had my passport. Do you have your passport? I don't have my passport. I don't have my passport. This is, as far as I know. This is- this is company protocol as of today. It doesn't, it doesn't, it does not matter but listen. A guard followed me- Hey! Whatever the fuck happened in there, he jumped in there, another guy jumped in there. Three subjects, one sample. Boom. That's all- that's all that I know that happened. DID I NOT TELL YOU TO GET TO FUCK OUT OF THE TEST CHAMBER?! Are you guys okay?! Jesus, you wouldn't talk to me before. Tommy. Tommy! We need to make sense- (Wayne yells) Augh, Jesus! What are we arming our guards with?! What the fuck was that weapon?! Who- Tommy okay, Tommy- Who- Tommy okay, Tommy-
(Scientist: No!) Who- Tommy okay, Tommy-
(Scientist: uAAGHK!) What is happening, Tommy turn around.
(Scientist: Dargh!) What is happening, Tommy turn around.
(Scientist: Argh!) What is happening, Tommy turn around.
Did he, did he do that? (Whispering) Did he do that? Hey what happened to those guys? Yeah we're gonna, I'll get the passport when we go to the surface I promise we're gonna get that passport. What is your name? No, bro, you know your fucking name stop joking around I'm tired of people fucking with me today. (Wayne exhales) What is your name? Bubby. Sure, Bubby, okay that's not your name. Dr. Coomer! Doctor, get (stuttering) get- move! I don't think you should be fucking with anything here. Are you sure than pressing any button is not gonna cause another fucking, what was that called? A resonance cascade? They didn't even tell me what that was! You need to move! You are like an inch from some kind of radiation beam, you need to move over here! You're not- a passport isn't gonna- an HEV suit is not gonna save me from that! It's- We're going! How…